Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
