I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
