hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
