i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
