I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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