I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
