she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
