I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
