apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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