Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
