Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
