okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
