Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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