This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
