Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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