What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
