he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You're my little dorito
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
