are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
