Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
