I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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