you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
