the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
