I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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