oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
