Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
