Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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