I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
