I heard we made out
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
