Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
