that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
