dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize