I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
