Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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