You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
