i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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