so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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