Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
