we're chasing vodka with high fives
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
