If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize