That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
