Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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