Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize