Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
