laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Randomize
