Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
