We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
