I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
