Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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