wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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