Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
