shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
