it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
