And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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